Holiday Hypnosis / by Erik Sudheimer

I’ve just returned from a holiday whirlwind in the upper midwest. Here are some of my trip’s many achievements.  

  • Shared food and drinks with many family members and friends

  • Luxuriated through a blizzard 

  • Almost defeated The Oregon Trail card game (I died two cards away)

  • Forgot to pack pants

  • Found a plumber the day after Christmas to snake our sewer line

  • Sculpted a piece of ice into the shape of Texas

  • Went to the Mall of America to buy pants (not actually super proud of this)

  • Ate my first snap dragon (flaming raisins burning in a pool of fortified brandy)

  • Saw some exceptional snow suits

  • Bowled a 144

  • Subsisted largely on cookies and beer 

  • Arrived considerably underdressed for a gathering

  • Pet at least twelve cats and three dogs

  • Maintained an aggressive social calendar but still didn’t get time with everyone I’d hoped

  • Watched a man get a haircut on a frozen lake

  • Lost decisively at Farkle

  • Constructed an ice hair altar

  • Called Oregon home for the first time in a sentence

  • Watched my annual 30 minutes of pro football

  • Returned to a place where “real feel” isn’t a used weather term

Happy 2023 😘